The Belly Dancer vs. The Weird Real Estate Lady
Round 1; 2/09/02
Belly Dancer is driving along minding her own business when Weird Real Estate Lady slams into her car. There is no damage. Everyone seems fine and goes on with their lives. The next day Belly Dancer's neck is stiff. She goes to hospital. X-ray's are taken, and later a CAT scan. Belly dancer is told that she has a sprained neck, and to get physical therapy. She instead goes to he chiropractor. He gives her 10 weeks of treatment, and follow up exercises and stretches to do.
Round 2; approx. one year later
Belly Dancer's neck continues to be stiff. Her brother tells her "Shut the fuck up you whinny bitch. Go see another Doctor and get a second opinion, take these Advil, just please shut your trap!" Belly Dancer then goes to a completely different chiropractor. He gives her treatment for a few weeks, and follow up exercises and stretching to do. Meanwhile, she takes on more belly dancing classes.
Round 3; the bills arrive
Apparently Belly Dancer was not happy with the $500 she received to repair her car (which she did not) I mean, she has bills to pay, those trixie high heeled shoes are expensive. The hair cut, and trendy clothes aren't cheap either. So she decides to sue Weird Real Estate Lady.
Round 4; lawyers, guns and money
Lawyers are hired by both sides to duke it out. Belly Dancer wants 10 Grand. Weird Real Estate Lady is willing to give her $7,000. And NOT a penny more. This is a standoff. A civil trial is imminent.
Round 5; The Judge and Jury
36 people are pooled together, taken in large guarded elevators 22 floors up. There, they are shuffled into a court room where a court reporter, a court clerk, 2 lawyers and the Belly Dancer and the Weird Real Estate Lady. Soon the Judge enters. He mumbles some instructions, and then 12 names are read. One is mine. We move to the juror box, and in groups of four are asked several questions like "Where do you get your news?" and "Have you ever been to a chiropractor?" I answered the questions truthfully. I get my news from pretty much any news source. I have the freaking ABC News on right now. And I did go to a chiropractor about 4 years ago. My Dr. was pretty hott, and we ended up dating for about 2 months. Then we broke up, I moved to the city and stopped going to see her professionally. (I did leave that part out, I mean who needs to know why I stopped going to the Hot Chiropractor?) Then it came: These four are passed. I was quickly sworn in and thus trapped for 2 days. We listened to several instructions from the Judge, dull opening statements from both lawyers, and endless testimony from doctors. At the end of the day (about 4:15) we are instructed not to discuss the trial with anyone, and to return promptly at 10:45AM the next morning.
I head to a baseball game with my super cute girlfriend and get myself decently drunk. We went home and did some strenuous exercising till late in the night, I woke up at 3AM and felt like doing some additional exercising and was obliged. The morning was nice, no alarms to wake me, a nice light rain, and my girlfriends shower running in the background were all soothing. I left her house around 8:30, and headed home where I cooked myself breakfast, checked my email, and got ready for court.
Back in court, we are given a choice of lunch, and then dragged back into the jury box to hear closing arguments, and apparently Belly Dancer wants $50,000 for her pain and suffering, $20,000 for loss of a normal life, $13,900 for future medical care, and $11,529 in out of pocket medical expenses for a grand total of $95,429 for Weird Real Estate Lady bumping her car two years ago causing neck pain. This chick is on crack if she thing I am going to say she should get that much money. Luckily the 11 other jurors felt the same way. We totaled some of her medical expenses and gave a judgment for the plantiff, Belly Dancer, for $8002.
After the trial, everyone thanked us, and the Judge explained that this was the only country where everyone has the right to a trial by jury. He said I was what made the system work, because I and the 11 other jurors had differing opinions, and would cancel out those differences coming to one consensus. He was pretty right.
All in all, I was proud to serve in the system. I would definitely do it again. Tomorrow, it is back to work during the day, and then to the Vics Brew & View for 'Lords of Dogtown', a skateboard movie. Although making $17.20/day vs. around $170/day was kinda of tough to swallow. Luckily my employer will make up the difference.
Side note, there are like a bizillion hot chicks walking around downtown. I'm so glad I don't work downtown because I would never want an experience like that to seem 'normal' or 'everyday'
