Duh

So I just learned that it isn't a good idea to send Concert Mom oral sex email jokes, or at least this one:


IF MEN WROTE Advice Columns...



Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend
and me.

A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you!
Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best
thing, your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can only bring
you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates
involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with
your friends without you. If you're still not sure then just perform oral
sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.



Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex
on him.

A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a
great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to
allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves
you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day: then
cook him a nice meal.



Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.

A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should
be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with
other men. A night out chasing young single girls is great stress relief and
can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can
rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's
great time to clean the house too!) Just look at how emotional and happy
he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he
returns home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then
cook him a nice meal.



Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.

A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If
you must mess with it do it in your own time or ask your best friend to
help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it
to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform
oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.



Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.

A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should
seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to man is very stressful and time
consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky
requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as
much as you should. He should never have to work to get you in the mood.
Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral
sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.



Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over
and goes to sleep without giving me one.

A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps
you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.