News Flash

Cabinet job cancled. New house bought, I will be working on that. Demolotion today. Not exactly what I wanted to be doing. Being up this early on a day off sucks.

The Last Day

Today is my last day of work. I will be leaving around noon time to head home. I'll try to get my best/worst of 2K5 up before NYE.

It sure has been an eventfull year for me.

edit:

If you don't have anything fun planned for NYE, and you are in the greater Chicagoland area come out to the Fireside Bowl. $10, all the beer you can drink and super cool and crazy people.

Sweet Dreams

Well, actually... Not so much. I had some really weird dreams that kept waking me up all night. Then I would toss and turn and not be able to fall back asleep. Then the dreaded alarm sounded and I HAD to get up and come into work. Cursing the big corporation I work for the whole ride in while wondering why we are even open this week. Tomorrow is a 1/2 day, and Friday I will drive out to work for Concert Dad, which probably won't be that much fun but I'll get paid twice. Once for being on vacation from here, and once for doing actual work for Pop's. He'll pay me in real greenbacks too, which is nice.

X-mas Weekend or the parts I remember anyway in Review

Thursday 12/22
I skipped lunch in order to get out of work an hour early, made a few stops trying to find something TR was looking to get for her daughter and then went right over to her house. We left right away to meet Concert Sister and a work buddy of hers for dinner. It was during the meal that the decision to 'Go Big' was made. After dinner, several drinks and shots we headed over to the Beat Kitchen for the Cougars rock-and-roll show. My buddy Matt and his cute date Stephanie met us there. After the Cougars were done playing their brand of 'it's so loud my ears are bleeding' music we hit a late night bar and hung out with some of my friends until 4ish.

Friday 12/23
Family Christmas at Concert parents house. So I totally forgot to remind Tequila to bring the kids bathing suits because there is a Hot Tub at my parent's house. My family adores her, and her kids. Olivia fell in love with their crazy dog. Dylan and my brother played nerf basketball. I spilled red wine all over my girlfriend's new shirt. It was an awesome event. I'm glad that everything went just as I thought it would.

Saturday 12/24
I woke up early, made breakfast, and then headed to out to do my yearly last minute shopping. Every year I curse myself for waiting until X-mas Eve to finish my shopping and every year i swear I am going to get everything finished up early next year. I finished up my shopping, and then headed over to TR's house so we could have our gift exchange. I wanted to get it done before X-mas morning because I got her a digital camera and knew she would want to use it. She got me some wonderful gift's including a vintage flask with an old school football player on it. Dylan gave me a package of bottle rockets... I love fireworks! After spending some time over there, I headed home to get some sleep.

Sunday 12/25
Again I woke up early and headed back out to Concert Parents house. Every year I get there and X-mas gift opening is over and done with. Not this year. I got there and everyone else had just got up, so for the first time in a long time I got to open gifts with my family. All of us kids got a ton of crap. We watched 'The 40-Year-Old Virgin' and then I headed home to watch the Bears game. That was awesome. Division Champs. First round bye. An offense that can not only move the ball down field, but that can also score touchdowns. After the game Tequila and I headed out to meet some of my friends for the annual X-mas night drink-a-thon. Before heading out we both agreed that it would be an early night. Instead, we closed two different bars. We were both completely wasted.

I hope your Christmas was as fun and drunk as mine. Up next, NYE...

Man Love on The Big Screen

Last night Tequila and I met at the movie theatre to see Bareback Mount... er, I mean Brokeback Mountain. I was surprised with Heath Ledger's performance. I always think of him in his role in 'A Knight's Tale'. I have seen him in other movies, and always see him as one of his characters in one of these movies. This time I saw him as a cowboy, a man with a secret, a friend. Although the movie was slow, and seemed to drag at the end, I liked it. Mainstream America on the other hand probably won't.

The Bible Thumpers defiantly won't like this one.


Tonight is the Rock Show featuring Cougars. If you live in the city, come on out, you probably don't have work tomorrow. I'll even buy you a beer.

Tomorrow, Me, Tequila and her two offspring are heading down to Concert Parents house for my family Christmas Celebration. Concert Mom is very excited to meet the two short people. With all the cousin's I have that are around their age I'm sure that they will have a grand time.

Kids these days

Check This Out

Cool

Just got word that Mr. Matt is going to be in town tonight thru the 26th. I told him of the Rock Show and Drink-a-Thon. Sounds like he'll make one, if not both.

YAY!

Eee-Gads

Only 4 more shopping days left before Christmas, and only 2 until my family party! Boy-o-boy do I have a lot of crap to still go out and buy.

I'll probably have to start going during my lunch hours today and tomorrow. Some stuff I bought via the internets hasn't arrived yet either. Hopefully that crap arrives in the next two days.

Tonight Tequila and I are going to see the gay cowboy movie. There isn't anything like some man love to get in the spirit of the Holidays. I have been looking forward to seeing this movie since I heard a quote on the morning radio show hosted by Johnny B... it goes like this "I wish I knew how to quit you" said in cowboy drawl. I'll try to throw up a review tomorrow.

Tomorrow night The Rockstar's band is playing a Holiday Show. It's only $7 to get in, so if you live in Chicago you have no excuse for not going. Show info is as follows:

Cougars

Beat Kitchen
2100 W. Belmont Ave.

Horace Pinker, Explode and Make Up, Lynyrds Innards.

Dec. 22: 8 p.m.

Price: $7 (18+)
Phone: 773-281-4444

alright I have to get a ton of crap done here at the job.

Story and Responses

So I spend some time reading internerd news every day.

This story about a giant snow penis resulted in these responses.

My favorite is "May God damn this newspaper for running the photo of the snow penis online."

X-mas Night Booze-a-thon confirmed!!

If you live in Chicago and don't have any plans for Christmas Night, come on over to the Beechwood Inn for the annual Christmas Night Booze-a-thon.

The party starts when the bar opens. I'll get more info before then, but I think it opens around 9PM. Drinks are dirt cheap.

So come celebrate the birth of Baby Jesus, or the Bears win over Green Bay, or the fact that you don't have to work on Monday.

What?

I wonder how a guy with no technical experience, and no technical skills can have a higher title than I do.



And make quite a bit more also.



Review time is soon. I better be made happy. I know a few places that would LOVE to have me working for them, and they are closer to home.

Time to dust off that old resume.

I Hope Your Kid Has Nightmares

It's Official; Concert Mon has her diploma. I saw it with my own eyes Friday after work. I almost didn't. You see, the gym was 'full'. The Campus Cop told me I wasn't allowed in. He had a real gun strapped to his hip, so I didn't give him any lip. Well, nothing too serious anyway. I did say: "My ENTIRE family is in there, they have been here since 5:50PM, and they are saving my spot. Here, I have a ticket."


He wasn't having any of that, so I called Concert Sister. She calmly walked up, gave me the stink eye and said "Hurry up, lets go!" I responded, right in front of the Campus Cop; "He told me I can't go in there, and he has a gun." Um, she wasn't having any of that, so she marched up to the Cop, and told him that the entire family was in there waiting for me and had a spot saved. He's coming with me... Do you have a problem with that? He quickly changed his demeanor, and said "...mmurp, well.. if there is a sopt.., ummmmm, yeah saved and all, I guess he can.. errr.. I mean if there is a spot for you, go right ahead... um.. Sorry?"

Graduation Pic's: I don't know most of these people.











































































This guy was protectiong us during the ceremony


I took this picture after the ceremony was all over and done with... while saying kind of loudly; "There he is dad, the Campus Cop with the gun that wouldn't let me in"















Just look at his face. I sure felt safer....

Saturday, after taking The Roommate to get his car he left at work and a quick trip to Dominick's I was settling in for a nice long day of Grey Goose drinks and NFL Football. Then Tequila called and invited me to go see the new epic movie Kin Kong with her and the little people. I told her "Hell Yeah I'll go!" We got there little early, grabbed some seats and then I went with my mental peers to the game room. Olivia couldn't find anything to play, while Dylan was checking out the games with prizes. I tried one game with a dumb toy while Olivia looked on. I didn't get it, but I almost did. I decided that I was 'feeling it' after that try though, and headed over the The Claw. I scanned the various toys and prizes inside and saw a ball that was very gettable. I also noticed it was a King Kong ball, so it was probably recently added. I dropped in my tokens, positioned the grabber and hit the drop button. A few seconds later I was bouncing my new Kong Ball down the hall with glee.

Shortly after this we headed into the theatre and took our seats. A few moments later the epic Kong movie started. I loved it. Every second of it. I basically had to pee for the second half of the movie. Pretty badly near the end. The part of the movie I didn't like was the 3 year old sitting two rows behind us. This small child talked, screeched, and was basically annoying through out the movie. When it was all over I leaned over the row and told the lady 'Hey, thanks!" She kind of smiled and responded 'O, for what?" to which I replied "For bringing the way little kid who did not stop talking through out the whole thing. I told my dad today, I hope that kid has nightmares.

Today I went out the Parents house to help my dad finish up remodeling a room the basement, and fix a bathroom vent that was not working right. Some of this involved going on the roof, and in the attic. It was freaking cold up, and out there.

Speaking of cold, my weather thing on my Firefox browser says it feels like -9 degrees F. The Roommate is currently at this wonderful Bears game that I am watching. I'm sitting on the couch, in the warm, sipping my Grey Goose while he is at the stadium freezing his balls off.

Graduations all around

Last night I went to Fredbeck's Guitar Recital with Tequila and Sister of Fredbeck. For the Guitar 1 classes, I recommend picking something other than the Beatles or Eagles for your performance. When I heard the Eagles, all I could think of was that scene out of The Big Lebowski where Jeff Bridges proclaims "I've had a really bad day and I HATE THE FUCKING EAGLES, man" or however it exactly goes. Fredbeck was awesome, singing the lead of one of my more favorite Men At Work songs 'Overkill'. Well-done Fredbeck.

Tonight is Concert Mom's Graduation Ceremony at Joliet Jr. College. I have to drive to Joliet, IL after work to hopefully get there by 7PM. I should be fine as long as it doesn't snow too much.

This afternoon is my office 'Holiday' Lunch. I say holiday because one of the people I work with is Jewish. He is as Jewish as I am Catholic, but he gets really offended when I say Christmas.. Whatever. I was hoping for a 'Special Lunch' with my special lady friend, but I get pizza instead. Boo.

From to Stuck to Unstuck

another Truck showed up and tied up to the Stuck Truck with a piece of nylon.











some cooridanted pulling/reversing. You Can Do It!!










and the Stuck Truck is free. Now I have tore up grass and Truck Marks outside my window to remind me of the fun I had today.

I have to go to work now.

Stuck

There are few things that bring me as much joy as seeing a big truck doing some sort of specialized work. This one is out side my office window right now. The truck is totally stuck though. The guy driving it is currently making a sandwich. He spent the last few minutes spinning his tires trying to move. I have a feeling that another truck is going to have to come out and get this one unstuck. And I can't wait.

Toys I want for X-mas

Dear Santa,

Here is a list of toys I want for Christmas. I have been good all year, and feel like I deserve these... or at least some of them.

- Put This in Your Ear and Shove game
- Brazilian Wax Dora The Explorer
- Tickle Me Tex Cowboy
- Osama's Mtn. Play Set
- NASCAR Tighten My Nuts Pit Stop Pal
- My First Gram Scale
- Golden Shower Slip and Slide
- Dr. Clutch and Cough
- Shave Me Barbie
- EZ Bake Magic Brownies
- Roof Top Parachute Kit
- Will It Burn Bobby
- What Does This Taste Like by Milton-Bradley
- Fisher Price Goldfish Blender
- Runin' With My First Scissors
- Bag-O-Glass
- Furbiee The Lap Clam
- Gang Sign Flash Cards
- My First Meth Lab
- Michael Jackson Make-up Kit
- Tommy The Tapeworm
- Playskool's My First Prison Tat Kit

I'll leave some cookies and milk out for you. And carrots for the reindeer.

Your Friend,
Concert Josh

Fumes

So there is some guy putting down those 12x12 tiles that you see in hallways of big buildings. You know, the ones that are usually white with tannish speckles on them. Well, the guy is using some sort of glue that currently has me high as a kite. Yippie! Stoned at work...

Not Much Going On Here

So there is nothing to really post about these last few days. Here is a quick run down of what I have:

- the job with Concert Dad has been pushed back to January/February.
- I got a 'The American part of the Company is 50" small $300 bonus today.
- I will be getting my yearly bonus this week, tomorrow I'll get the paperwork letting me know how much it will be for.
- The office standoff has escalated. Currently, I am 'winning'.
- It didn't snow here at all. Weather people are stupid. Freezing rain sucks.
- Concert Mom has her graduation ceremony this Friday. I get to go to Joliet right after work.
- The Sonic Air Horn should arrive on Friday. Can't wait to use it.
- I want to go see King Kong this weekend.
- Sam Galveston finally called me. We haven't gotten together yet though.

Well, that about does it.

The Death Stare

I have been giving the death stare to a certain co-worker in my office today.

This isn't the normal idiot co-worker either... I have a new nemesis here now.

Monday's Suck...

A bad day at work, followed by a not so fun ride home, plus dinner and a dash of Monday Night Football and a side of laundry and a great big helping of the Roommate got a shiny new black with the fancy color screen ipod and I had to help set it up so he could share my 8900+ songs in my iTunes, and then absolutely no chance of seeing the Girlfriend and it's almost 11PM and I have been in a bad mood all day and Monday sure does suck.

The Office Party, Sick Day and Jesus Concert

Here are a few pictures from Tequila's Office Party. All I am going to say is that it was a crazy fun time.



































I called in sick again on Friday. Actually I was sick all weekend.




Saturday I took Tequila to my Grandpa's Barbershop Choir's Christmas Spectacular.










This program is broken down into two parts, fun holiday type songs, and the story of Jesus. The first part is midly entertaining, the second is all about the who what and when events of the birth of Baby Jesus. It is actually worse than being in church. I haven't been to church in years, I have been to this event for the last 4 years. At least they serve booze.

The rest of my weekend was spent in bed, watching the Bears lose, shoveling my little car out and eating seafood. We also watched The March of the Penguin. Neat little movie, but my god those creatures live miserable lives. On a good day it is 50 degrees below Zero. They march up to 70 miles to their nesting grounds, the nest in the dead of winter when the average temp drops to around 80 below Zero, without the wind chill. They go up to 4 months without food. Stupid birds.

Grandma Knows How To Party

No, not mine..

Story HERE.



I'm home sick. Going to whip up some eggs and bacon, then take a nap. Tonight is Tequila's Work Holiday Party. I can't wait!

Pearl Harbor Day

To honor this day, I will work my ass of for the Japanese company I am employed by.

post now proofread and edited!

Crystal Meth

Thanks to the key ingredient in Crystal Meth, pseudoephedrine, I feel much better than I did this morning.

Blah

I have a very sore throat, I didn't sleep well. My head is fuzzy and my muscles ache. I think I have a cold. Or Bird Flu. Or Yellow Fever. Or the AIDS. It sucks. I am supposed to go see my Girlfriend tonight. I don't want to get her sick though.

WTF is THAT??

It could be Bigfoot.

It could be Ben Bob.

It could be Jerry.

Or it could be some random lone hiker.

My vote goes to Ben Bob.

Full Story by clicking here.

Happy Birthday

To Concert Mom. Today is her ___th Birthday. Go ahead and guess, I'll give you a hint. She isn't 50 yet.

One last thing.....

After much debate, and a few more loud, unnecessary noises from the asshole's that live above me I have deciede to order a few air horns.

They won't arrive for about two weeks.

The Weekend; In Review

It has been a while since I posted anything worth while. It will probably be a while until I do again, here is a semi-quick recap of my weekend.

Friday:
I spent the day doing some major league slacking off here at work. I just didn't feel like doing anything. I left promptly at 5pm so I could head home and get the fixings for an Apple Cobbler together to take over to Tequila's house to enjoy with her and the kids. Normally, it takes just about an hour on Friday at 5pm to get from the office to home. It took me almost two on this particular day. There were no accidents, it wasn't snowing, no major sporting events or concerts.. just a bunch of idiots out driving around.

I got home, sliced the apples and made the topping, then headed over to my Girl's house. I had a wonderful time over there, kind of helping to put up the Christmas tree, watching Lilo & Stitch and snuggling with Tequila.

Saturday:
I got out of bed around 10am. I made myself breakfast and then headed over to Costco. What a mistake. That store was so packed that I had to chase someone leaving so I could wait for them to unload a cart that I could take in with me. Once inside I realized the place was packed with idiots and their maniac children. I blasted my cart into some lady's who decided that the middle of the isle was the perfect place to stop. She screamed "Oh my GOD!!" as I calmly gave her the death stare and said, "Watch out lady".

The rest of Saturday was spent cleaning, making tacos, and playing Xbox. I skipped out on a dinner party that I probably should have went to, but was glad I didn't. There were a few people there I would have liked to see, but more that would have just annoyed me, and being annoyed enough already it was probably for the best that I skipped out. My roommate came home from the party around 10:30, and we headed over to Subterranean to catch a buddy of his play. The only thing good was the 3 vodka tonic's I sucked down during the hour we were there. The band was better live than the few tracks we downloaded before we went, but that isn't saying much.

Sunday:
I got up at about 8:30, got myself together and headed out to my parents house to help Concert Dad do some remodeling work for the upcoming Christmas Party. He showed me what he wanted me to do, and after a breakfast cooked by Concert Mom I got started. I also watched the Bears game while cleaning out the room he is going to fix up. The first half was not what I wanted to see (Brett Favre eating turf). The offense of the Bears is also horrible. With first and goal on the 7, and averaging 4.something yards per carry they decided to throw 2 passes to try for the touchdown. Dumb. Luckily the second half featured Favre getting hammered, and throwing an interception that was run back for the Bears only TD. While watching the game, I revisited the fact that I wished that Mr. Favre played for a non-NFC Central team, because I would like him as a QB if he did, but being a Packer.. I HATE HIS GUTS. I took pleasure in seeing him wince in pain after a sack, and cutting his throwing hand.

I gave Concert Mom her B-day/Xmas present.. a remote car starter. She was instantly pleased. Since I began dating a single mom, I have really appreciated the fact that Concert Mom didn't just abort me 30 years ago. I am able to see now just how much she sacrificed to give me the life she did.

My 17yr old sister Grits locked her keys in her car up at my Grandparent's house. This was according to Concert Dad about the 10th time she has locked her keys in her car. Being as smart as she is, straight A's pretty much she started school, and mostly honor's classes in High School I am kind of amazed at this trend.


Super Bowl Update: I am going for the week leading up to the game, but apparently don't have the 'field experience' to stay for the actual game. I do, however have the 'field experience' to be sent to NASA all by my self and help them get a bunch of equipment ready for the Space Shuttle launch, and to be sent with one other Tech to ready the Monday Night and Sunday Night Football Trucks. I don't get it.

Thank You!

Concert Josh's Acceptance Speech for his recent Emmy Award:

Thank you! Oh! Thank you! I can hardly believe this! I feel so surgically enhanced! And this statue - it's so shiny! Oh, thank you again! I just want everyone to read in the tabloids that even in my wildest hallucinations, I never would have fantasized that this could ever help me get laid so much. And to the other second-rate nominees, I want each of you to know how totally vindicated your jealosy makes me feel right now!

You know when they first told me I was a God on Earth, I just had to take a minute and brag about how great my fans have been. I guess it all just makes me feel kinda numb

You know, there are so many back-stabbing little people to thank! First off though, I want to thank the senile old bats of the Academy, who looked deep within their cold, black hearts before giving me this fantastic award! Also, I want to thank Jesus, for being such a powerful force in my loins. And to Mom, who taught me to take life by the horns. And finally, to all the Producers I slept with - I couldn't have done it without you!

Thank you America, and good night!

Look Mom, No Hands!

I'm so jealous.

Amusing

I'll post something 'real' sometime, but not today.

I heard this line on a local morning radio show, and I love it:

"I'd rather have a sister working in a whore house than a brother who's a Packer fan."

Hummm

Dear Turbo:

I see you found the blog. I'll post something embarassing about you sometime soon. HA.