About time

This story makes me sick. The worst part, im my opnion, is that several key people in the conviction of the innocent man are still in and running for very important public offices. How do Du Page County State's Atty. James E. Ryan, and Atty. Gen. Roland Burris sleep at night? Neither of these guys, along with several police officers should be allowed to hold a public office.

Super Bowl Bound

Hopefully my Chicago Bears can get there too. I was just asked if my schedual would allow me to go to the Big game for on-site support. I have only been to one other live NFL game (thanks PE and Melmar). Yay! I also get to work with one of my favorite tech's from the LA office.

30 Facts I bet you didn't know....

30 facts about Chuck Norris that is.

The Weekend Update (a few days late)

Wednesday 11/23

I got to work early so I could wrap up a few things, and make sure my co-worker had work to do when I left at lunch. He came in and his first question was "How long is roast beef good for?" I answered "probably no more than 4 days if it is from the deli." He replied with "Huh, that might be why I don't feel so good.." Apparently he ate some meat that was almost two weeks old. I asked him "didn't it look or smell funny?" At that point he ran to the bathroom for the first time. After two trips to the men's room (I would have left after the first trip, then again I wouldn't give myself food poisoning either..) I sent him home. This is what I deal with every weekday. I got my photo with the Emmy, and then left for Tequila's house. I checked the internerd traffic and decided that the highway would be the fastest.. WRONG. Oh well, what is an extra hour in the car right?

Well, had I known the trip to the 2nd most dangerous city in the States would take 7+ hours I might have taken a different route. Hindsight is always 20/20.

Upon arriving to Tequila Sister's house I got a phone call. I wouldn't have answered it if I knew who it was.. but I did. It was the Gangster, an old Nerd School friend back in Chicago visiting his family. After a short chat I got off the phone feeling like a dork.

The rest of the family arrived, a few drinks were had and then it was bed time.

Thursday 11/24

What a day. It is what every Thanksgiving should be like. Small intimate gathering, good food, football, funny revelations about my girlfriend from her family, dessert, and games. I go to really nerd-up and show Tequila Family just how much I knew about TV Shows.

Friday 11/25

A good breakfast followed by a short 5 hour car ride home. Tequila took a nap, I had a sandwich and then it was movie time. I can't get over how much Joaquin Phoenix looks like the Rock Star, my sister's boyfriend.

Saturday 11/26

Tequila made me pancakes. She swears by some weird "always throw the first pancake away motto" that I have never heard of. I told her she was crazy, and that she needed to turn the flam down a bit... that's when I found myself making the rest. I googled her motto, but found nothing. Anyone else have any insight to this??

After some thrift store shopping, where I scored a cool Bears glass and two coffee mugs (Old Fart, and Life Begins At 30.. fitting) it was Notre Dame football time. good game, by why Charlie would you use the lame legged kicker 3 times?? Why? Thanks to Brady Quinn and Maurice Stovall ND should get a bid to the Fiesta Bowl.

Note To Sam Galveston: You Suck for not answering your phone.

Sunday 11/27



I made some omelets, and then it was Bears Football time. A tense game once again dominated by the Bears defense. I really wish the offense was just a little better. If we could count on them to sustain one or two scoring drives per game, this would be one hell of a football team. A quick trip to the local Jewel and we had the fixings for dinner. I watched the packers lose, again. And it felt good.

As you can see, it was a great few days spent with my Special Lady Friend. Today she was off to NYC, and I probably won't se her again until maybe Friday. This week I will be working long hours here at the job, tending to a few chores around my place, and getting ready to go to work for Concert Dad first thing Saturday morning.

YAY.


not really.

Concert Mom Update

I just got off the phone with her.........












She passed. With Flying Colors.

also, the Boss Man is out of the office this week, so ratting out my lazy co-worker (finally some will say) was all for nothing.

Good Luck Concert Mom

She's taking some sort of very important test so she can become a full-fledged R.N. This isn't the state test, but one that if she passes allows her to take that. I think she needs an 80% or better to pass, which makes sense. Who wants a nurse treating them that only got a 'C'?? I sure don't.

I'll review the Holiday Weekend later, I have a ton of work to do.

I did just sell out the co-worker to the Boss Man. We'll see how that goes. I hate being a tattle-tale, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do and I didn't see any other way.

Emmy

so apparently my division in this large company won an Emmy Award for some sort of engineering thing done by factory workers over in Japan. I donno, but here it is.

Coming soon, pictures with me holding it like I had somethign to do with winning it.

Yummy!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Just when I thought it couldn't possibly get worse....

So I am sitting here working on a few estimates, and my co-worker is disassembling a lens. I notice him looking in the parts cabinet and I think to myself I wonder what he is looking for knowing the lens he is working on only needs 'rollers' which are kept in a bin near his bench. Paying attention to what I am doing, I stop wondering what the hell he is doing. The next thing I hear is the Dremel Tool start up, and the familiar grinding of metal noise coming from the projection room. I immediately get up and quickly make my way over to him and ask "What are you doing?"

co-worker: "I am cutting out this screw" as he shows me the $1500 zoom cam unit with a stripped out screw

Concert Josh: "Stop that right now and give that to me" grabbing the parts from his hands

I then take the zoom cam to my bench and easily remove the stripped out screw in seconds. I hand the parts back to him, shake my head in bewilderment and go back to work wondering "Why Me"

edit: He fucked up the $1500 part anyway. That part is backordered. That customer was one of the irate callers I had this morning. I no longer care. Why should I? No one else seems to anymore

This Is Funny

Click here. Fill in the Blanks. It's Funny.

Top 5 Reasons Why Today Sucks

So I recently saw part of 'High Fidelity', the John Cusack movie fillmed here in Chicago a few years back. Cusack uses a lot of 'Top 5' lists in the movie, so I am going to follow suit today.

5. The shitty traffic I hit on my way in this morning. Mostly because the stoplight that was out last night was still out this morning and there was no traffic control officer dealing with the rush hour traffic. I sat in barely moving traffic for about 3 miles which took well over 40 minutes. Fuck You Melrose Park, IL.

4. The constant ringing of my office phone, with semi-irate customers looking for their equipment. I'm swamped. I have been doing work for another office. My co-worker is lazy. Please back off.

3. It is currently 74.7 degrees in my work area. I feel like passing out. The heat at home is only set at 67, and goes down to 63 at night. I like it cooler.

2. I am freaking starving, but am too busy to stop for lunch. maybe I'll get to eat around 2PM CST. Cross your fingers.

1. I have not seen my lovely Girlfriend in several days. I also agreed to take on a Cabinet Job with Concert Dad. This is my last non-working weekend for a while. This means less time with the Girlfriend, and friends I don't see often enough as it is. She seems to think I took this job so I could spend less time with her. She couldn't be more wrong.

I guess things could be worse.

The Big E

She came to town this weekend for her yearly visit. I was supposed to hang out with her this weekend. Instead, I claimed that I was too broke to go out (half truth.. ) and completely ditched her and her crazy band of misfit friends. I only feel slightly bad about the whole thing.

We became close friends after both of our long-term relationships came to bitter ends only a few weeks apart years and years ago. We both went thought completely crazy phases together. Pretty much everyone thought sooner or later we'd turn to each other and realize we should be a couple, every one except us. We both knew that would be the worst thing for us, as we were both too crazy, and too hurt to begin any sort of romantic relationship. We needed each other, but we also needed our space. I'm glad for those years, and our many many adventures together. I'm glad we kept it to 'friends only'.

So instead of a crazy, drunk-ass weekend with her I cleaned my place like Cinderella. I watched Shawshank Redemption alone. I updated my iTunes with all the music I have recently downloaded. I watched the Bears roll over the Panthers. I didn't leave my place, except to go down the street to the corner store. I didn't call anyone, and no one really called me.

And I feel great. Mentally and physically. I'm ready for the Holidays to start. I can't wait to see my Girlfriend Wednesday afternoon. I am really looking forward to heading up to her sister's place for Thanksgiving.

Communication

It is what makes this world go. If you can't communicate with the other dip-shits in this world, you will never get anything done or have any sort of meaningful friendships or relationships. I think I do all right with the communication thing, but I know that I can improve. Sometimes I don't listen to others, or hear a small bit of information and then turn the conversation to be all about me. I have trouble telling people in a constructive manner that they have been not so nice lately and why. Sometimes I have problems telling co-workers how to do their tasks better with out being condescending, or flat out mean. I have trouble dealing with customers that don't know what they are talking about.

To those of you that have been on the receiving end of these bad communication traits; I am sorry. I will try to improve. I will make the effort to be a better friend, boyfriend, listener, and talker. I won't rush to interject, instead I will listen to you and what you are trying to tell me. I will try to criticize in a less harsh manner. I won't rush to judgment when you say something I don't agree with.

Well, I will try not to anyway.

White Wash

It is snow flurrying like a mutherfugger outside my office right now. I have been frantically working to finish up some stuff for a local, but well-known TV Station here in town. You know, the one that carries the Cubs, and is broadcast Nationally. I told my contact I would have this piece of equipment ready for pick-up at 3PM. I just finished. I would have come closer to my 3PM promise had my underling not changed a few switch settings on the test equipment. I know I have told him in the past to not mess with the switches.. Whatever. This isn't the first time something like this happened, and I can't say for certain it was him but I am pretty sure.

Also happening in my office is some wall building by a local contractor. Big Frank comes every once in a while to do some work around the building, and today he is basically cutting the room I in which my little office space is located in half. I guess the Copier Division is getting some new machines for their classes, and one is 40 feet long. So there is the added construction noise, and walk ins by the various curious people in my building. Watching him work reminds me of my dad, since they basically do the same thing. Sometimes I miss working with Concert Dad, but usually i am glad I have this cushy office type gig, only I wish it were located closer to the City than it is.

Well, I guess today is officially Boring Blog Day..

Whatever. Don't judge me.

My Girlfriend is hot

So click here and vote her hottie of the month of October. I did.

I'm just going to blast into you

From now on, when I am shopping and pushing my cart through the isles and you get into my way, stop abruptly, or see me coming and expect me to adjust my path I am going to just blast into you. I don't care if you are young or old, it isn't that hard to pay attention to where you are going. It isn't that hard to apply basic traffic rules to cart pushing. Stay on your side of the 'lane' (and we aren't in England people.. move in the direction you are facing on the right, not the left), yield at the end of the isle, move to the left when you want to stop and look at something, and look both ways before advancing.

I will not feel bad when I blast into you either. If you can't simply pay attention to your surroundings I can't feel bad for you at all.

The Weekend

Friday

I went to some jam packed Country bar for Melmar's Birthday celebration. When we first got there, Tequila was being a little stand-offish with me. So I made my way around the room talking to a few other people I knew there. It wasn't until later in the evening that I learned some jackas from her past had called, thus ruining her good mood. (Note to said jackass: Next time call me. We'll straighten this out once and for all. Don't have my number? Email me a concert.josh@gmail.com I'll make sure you get it) I got to meet the super cool and ultra hottie The Jade. I also got to sit inbetween Tequila and Jade during a heated session of girltalk. Very awesome, very hot and also kind of disturbing at the same time.

Saturday

I got up pretty eary on Saturday to go help Concert Dad put some insulation in the house he is working on. I was STARVING when I got there and thought Concert Mom migt make some breakfast for me. I went to the fridge to see what might be for breakfast.. only their fridge was completely bare. Completely, the only thing in there was the light bulb. I ran downstairs and grabbed a couple of microwave burritos. AS the microwave was beeping, Concert Mom suggested that I trash those, and we'e head to a local breakfast eatery for actual breakfast food. I rounded up my bro and the three of us headed out. On the way, Concert Mom turned to me and said "I hope you have money, I am broke" I chuckled, and told her no to worry about it, I'd be more than happy to take her and The Little Bro out.

After breakfast I headed over to the other house my dad owns. He gave me a list and sent me to the brand new Home Depot for the supplies. From the time I was about 15 until I was 20 I worked full time for Concert Dad's remodeling business. Actually, for most of those years it was just the two of us. I was always the guy running to the store for supplies. I rarely made a mistake buying those supplies. Not this time. I got the totally wrong insulation. You see the space between ceiling joists is 16'' on center. That makes the space between the boards about 15''. I bought 23'' wide insulation. WRONG STUFF, GO BACK. I eventually got the correct stuff, and then spent the next few hours cutting and installing this itchy crap with my Dad. We finished up around 8:30, I got home around 9:45 grabbed some clotes for the next few days and headed back over to Tequila's. We got some Thai food, Tequila found a hair in hers, thus ruining our dinner. This was the second time in as many days that Asian food had made me feel not so good. No offense to anyone, but I am done with Asian food unless I make it myself.

Sunday

NFL Day. Usually I watch ESPN, Fox, and CBS pre-game shows. Not this week. This Week Mr. Melmar invited me to actually attend the game. I got to the bar a little before 10, grabbed some breakfast and waited for the rest of our group. We boarded a bus that took us to and from the game for the mere cost of $8/person. It was so freaking windy at the game. There weren't any long passes, or field goals. I did see history though. San Francisco missed a field goal with 2 seconds left. Nathan Vasher caught the short kick about 8 yards deep in the end zone. He then ran the missed kick 108 yards back for a touchdown. The longest runback in NFL history. Awesome. After the game I headed back to Tequila's house and took a nap. I woke up a few hours later and tried to eat. That didn't work out so well, and the rest of the evening didn't exactly go so well.

Monday

I woke up this morning saying that I was probably going to just stay home because I felt like crap. I realized that there were a few tasks I needed to do at work, so I went in anyway. I'm gad I did go in, because I had totally forgot about a pain in my ass customer that was stopping by first thing in the morning, and my co-worker isn't qualified to handle this PITA, nor would he have known the right questions to ask. I finished up my few tasks, and headed home for a nap.

When I got here, I noticed the contents of the under sink cabinet on the counter. I got in touch with the roomie to get the story. Apparently something down below was leaking. I spent the next 40 or so minutes fixing the leak. Now I am finally going to lay down and nap. Until the dryer buzzer goes off anyway.

My favorite Veteran

It's been about 6 years now since my Grandpa died. He was Concert Dad's Dad. He was a veteran of WWII, the Pacific Campaign. He was father to 5, Grandfather to 10 or 11 when he passed. He was wise. He was the glue that kept the insane members of that side of my family under wraps. He kept my Crazy Grandma in check. That side of my family has completely fallen apart since his death. Unlike the rest of those people, he never let me or my sister feel like we were adopted into his family.

I met him when Concert Mom started dating Concert Dad when I was about 8 or so. When I was 13, he suffered a major stroke, and shortly after developed Alzheimers. He lived with my family for 3 years until he started getting so sick he needed 24hr. supervision. We moved him to a Veteran's home down in Manteno, IL so he could be properly looked after. When he moved in down there, he was still able to recognize faces and knew names. I volunteered at his facility when I was 16 to complete some community service I was 'awarded' by some judge for a minor traffic infraction. When my community service was up, I continued my volunteering until he passed. Before I did the volunteer work I had been going there regularly with, and sometimes without Concert Dad. The two of us were his most frequent visitor's going there at least weekly, although most of his children and grandchildren lived as close or closer than we did. I still see the look on his face when I would walk into the door. His whole face lit up with joy up until the last few years when his disease robbed him of his mind. The last time I went to see him before he died he called me by my uncle's name. He was alone in a room with nothing. I had to wake him to let him know I was there. He opened his eyes, smiled and said "Hi Jack"

A few weeks later I got a call from Concert Mom. I was in New Jersey for work, it was Thursday and I was flying home the next day. She told me the news, and I was immediately saddened, then relieved that he was finally at peace. Upon returning home, I learned that the funeral services would be the next week, so I packed some stuff and hit the road for a few Widespread Panic shows out of town that I had planned on going to. It was good to be surrounded by my friends, who showered me with booze and other stuff. I remember being able to hold it together for the funeral, and was able to carry out my pallbearer duties with dignity. It wasn't until the 21-gun salute that I lost it. Even now, while typing this, those emotions come back.

He was a great man, who I was able to learn a lot about life from in a short period of time. I still think about him, not every day but most.

Here is to you Papa, thanks for being such a positive influence in my life.

Forced Into Compliance

My Local HR representative just came down from his office and MADE me sign this Corporate Compliance form.

You Ruined My Life

exerpt from a recent conversation with Concert Dad:

CD: So what are you up to this weeek?
CJ: Well, I saw a friends band play last night, and am going to see The Rock Star's band tonight. I have 2 Birthday parties to attend this weekend, and am capping it all off with a Bears game on Sunday.
CD: You still go to a lot of concert's, why didn't you ever join or start a band?
CJ: Um, yeah.. remember that part where you would never let me get the musical instrument I wanted...
CD: Oh, so it's MY fault you aren't a Rock Star too?
CJ: Pretty much.
CD: Well, that kinda sucks. Hey why don't you come out on Saturday and help me insulate this house I'm working on.
CJ: Sure, not too early though.

That show SUCKED

Last night Tequila and I met up with a few friend type people to check out Flower15's show at the Metro last night. The lineup consisted of Cougars/Criteria/Pelican/Minus The Bear. Our group had obtained VIP passes for a mere $5 over the ticket price. Cougars took the stage around 8, and ROCKED. They were louder than I have ever seen them play, and seemed at home on the bigger stage. Way back when, Cougars were Hot Stove Jimmy, a ska band. Hot Stove would regularly sell out the Metro, so it is no surprise they look like they are at home in front of a large crowd.

The next two bands totally did not rock. Criteria sounded like an Emo Rush. I hate Rush. I can't stand the singer's voice. It seemed to take an eternity for their set to end. Pelican took the stage next. Not really next, because it took about 20 minutes between bands because of the tear down and set-up. And in between sets there were these two idiots that were dressed in hunting camo outfit's telling horrible, almost racist jokes. They were not funny, and were a big part of causing the evening to suck.

Pelican was good. But like the previous band, they played for too long. Pelican is also an instrumental band, which kind of causes all of their songs to bleed into eachother. I was into them when they started playing, but by half way through their set, I was bored. I glanced over at my girlfriend, and she looked like she was almost asleep.

By the time Minus The Bear took the stage, I was ready to leave. We stayed for a few songs, and then hit the road.

I am extremely disappointed in the whole ordeal last night. I guess that happens occasionally.

Pie

I was informed that I am in charge of making a pie for the Thanksgiving festivities. Anyone got a real good pie recipe? I found a few online, but would love to try yours. Please email them to: concert.josh@gmail.com

I want to give a shout out to the little old man I encountered at White Hen this morning. Thanks for shoving past me while I was pouring coffee. Thanks for bumping my arm while I poured, causing my arm to shift and hot coffee to spill all over my hand, the counter, the floor and my brand new shoes. You rule.

Rock Isn't Dead, Yet.

Last night I went to see Sam Champion at Schuba's. I took my roommate to the show, and we decided to have dinner there. The food that we ordered rocked. It seemed like ti took a long time to make, but when it arrived I knew why. It takes a few minutes to make something that tasty.

After dinner Ryan introduced me to Noah, who said "Hey I know you, I sold you your very first RANA CD up in Milwaukee at the Piggly Wiggly stage. How ya doing man?" The 4 of us, plus Noah's girlfriend headed up to the band room to relax. While up there the band wrote the set list. As Noah was putting together the songs they would play his girlfriend said "I flew all the way here just to see you play, you better fucking ROCK tonight. They did just that, playing faster and louder than the album. I chilled with Ryan, and his friend Todd whom I meet every time Ryan is in town.

I was home by midnight, and in bed shortly thereafter. I am looking forward to tonight's rock show. Cougars have a new album coming out soon, and will be playing a bunch of their new songs.

I want to send a Happy 5th Anniversary to the New Hampshire couple I know. Wish I could have been there to celebrate with the King.

I also want to give a shout out to Concert Mom. Congratulations on your recent Graduation. Here she is in her graduation picture.



















I can't wait for 6 o'clock to happen.

WARNING

Apparently Concert Dad is on the Internet unsupervised. If you are experiencing technical difficulties using the Internet this afternoon, that is probably the reason why.

Tugboat and other goings on

My drummer friend Tugboat is in town with his 'other' band Sam Champion. He called me last night to let me know he was already in town, and he wanted to hang after the band took in a movie. As I was talking to him, he say's "I think I'm right by your place, there is a park on the left here.. " He chuckles, then adds "Well, there are probably a lot of parks on the left in this city" Like the rest of the indivdual members of the band (Boots, Matt, and Andrew.. who only comes through with RANA) I can't wait to see him tonight. The last time he was in town we stayed out till 4AM partying like rock stars should, he stayed over at my place and in the morning when we met up with the rest of the band members they tried to get me to go with them to Indy. If I didn't have a date (our second, BTW) I totally would have gone. I'm glad I didn't.

I got another email from HR this morning letting me know I am still not in Corporate Compliance. Duh, I know I never filled out this dumb form and sent it in. I'm pushing to be the very last employee to comply.

The Boss Man wants me to fly out to New Jersey for 'training' in December. He wants me out there from 12/12-12/16. I made the suggestion that maybe the first part of January would work out better being so close to the Holidays and all. I never got a response, so I think I am going, which is going to make Christmas worse than normal.

After almost 7 months of playing, I finally beat GTA: San Andreas last night. I'm glad that's finally over.

Up for the rest of the week:
Tomorrow I am seeing a band called Cougars open for a personal favorite Minus The Bear. I also get to see my lovely Girlfriend. Sunday, I am going to my first Bears game ever. I watch them every week from the comfort of my couch. Not this week, I am actually going to the stadium. I was there once a long time ago, before the remodeling. I wasn't there for any sort of sporting event, I saw Pink Floyd on their last North American tour.

The Sky Is Falling! The Sky Is Falling!

On Thursday I asked Tequila if maybe she and her short people would be interested in taking in a movie after the Notre Dame game. My suggestion was accepted, and the short people got to decide on the movie. Chicken Little was what we got to see.

First thing though, there was a football game to watch. The play of the huge nerd wide receiver Jeff Samardzija, and the safety Tom Zbikowski a local boy from Arlington Heights put the game away in the second half. After the game, Tequila put the manacati in the oven and 50 minutes later we all had a very tasty dinner together.

Ok,I liked Toy Story and Shrek and was hoping that this movie was in the same fashion as those. Nope. There was NO STORY. The lead character was not lovable. Actually, the only character I liked was the 'Fish Out Of Water'. Other than that they were all dumb. The CGI Animation was done well, but with out the whole lovable character in a good story line thing I was lost.

After the movie we went back to Red's house for ice cream. Well TR and the short ones had ice cream.. I can't eat it anymore because of this lactose thing I have going on. I feel ill after eating it, so I just don't anymore. The kids soon wet to bed and we got to snuggle a bit on the couch before I headed home.

Her kids are great. They are smart and funny and totally adorable. I think having the siblings I have help me get along with the short people well. All in all I had a great time.

Proper Props

I want to thank Tequila Red for her help on the new design. Thanks babe, it looks great!

Boots

There is a nice Jam Base article about my friend Scott. Read it here.

The first time I really met Scott was in NYC on Halloween Weekend of 2003. On Halloween night I saw Widespread Panic at Madison Square Garden. That place really impressed me as far as big venues go. Sound was good, and there didn't seem to be a really bad seat in the place. After that I went to a private loft party where his band RANA was playing 2 sets. They had a all you can drink top shelf liquor bar and the band played great. The next night I caught Ween at the Roseland Ballroom, and again went to see RANA play an after show show. As the Crazy Lumberjack and I were heading into the venue, I heard "Hey Concert Josh.. How was the Ween show?" I turned and it was Scott. I had never really talked to him before, and was a little taken back that he knew who I was. We chatted about Ween for a few and then I headed in. Since then, no matter where I see him play he'll be the one that walks up to me and says HI.

Ouch

So this afternoon I finally got the Flu Shot. Got jabbed in my left arm, the nurse squeezed the plunger of the syringe; I felt the cool liquid push into my arm. She withdrew the needle as I started to bleed. Got a bandage applied to the now open wound, and headed back to my desk. I sit here now, my left arm feels week, my head feels loose and dizzy. I am warm. My legs are weak. I'm gonna go sit down, and collect myself.

Boy do I loath needles.

I'm lazy, and this is stupid. Enjoy!

HAVE I EVER...

Smoked a cigarette ~ YES. Quit for good by the time I was 22.
Crashed a friend's car ~ NEVER. I have dented my own a few times though.
Stolen a car ~ NEVER

Been in love ~ YES

Been dumped ~ More than I care to mention here.
Cheated on someone ~ YES. And it sucks.
Been cheated on ~ YES. And it sucks even more.
Shoplifted ~ YES.
Been fired ~ YES.
Been in a fist fight ~ Yes.
Snuck out of your parents' house ~ All the time!
Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back ~ Just once

Smoked pot ~ Today? No, not yet.
Gone on a blind date ~ YES.
Was a blind date ~ YES.
Lied to a friend ~ YES.
Skipped school ~ Yes

Seen someone die ~ NEVER
Had a crush on one of your internet friends ~ YES
Been to Canada ~ NEVER

Been to Mexico ~ NEVER.

Been to Jamaica ~ YES

Been on a plane ~ LOTS.

Been on a train ~ YES.

Been on a cruise ~ NEVER!
Purposely set a part of yourself on fire ~ Huh?
Eaten Sushi ~ YES.
Been skiing ~ NEVER.

Met someone in person from the Internet ~ YES

Been at a concert ~ You mean this week? No, not yet.

Taken painkillers ~ DUH, LOTS.
Love someone or miss someone ~ Just that one time.

Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by ~ maybe when I was 6.
Made a snow angel ~ YES, but it was more of a devil.
Flown a kite ~ YES
Built a sand castle ~ YES, all the time when I was little.
Gone puddle jumping ~ I never knew anyone with one of those dogs.
Played dress up ~ Ever hear of Halloween?

Jumped into a pile of leaves ~ YES

Gone sledding ~ YES

Cheated while playing a game ~ YES

Been lonely ~ YES.
Fallen asleep at work/school ~ Today? Not yet.
Used a fake id ~ NEVER had a need for one
Watched the sunset ~ I’ve probably seen the sunrise just as many times.
Felt an earthquake ~ NEVER.
Touched a snake ~ YES the snake in my pants.

Slept beneath the stars ~ More like passed out cold outside somewhere.
Been tickled ~ Just by my priest.
Been robbed ~ someone stole my heart once.
Been misunderstood ~ Daily
Petted a reindeer/moose/alligator ~ Yes, I think so, no.
Rode a horse or any other farm animal ~ I rode a cow once.

Won a contest ~ I don’t think so.
Run a red light/stop sign ~ YES.
Been suspended from school ~ All the time.
Been in a car crash ~ YES

Had braces ~ NEVER
Felt like an outcast/third person ~ Felt? You mean feel right?
Eaten a whole tub of ice cream in one sitting? ~ YES, but now I have this lactose thing and can’t eat ice cream.

Had deja vu ~ I’ve tried pretty much everything twice.
Danced in the moonlight ~ At outdoor rock shows.
Liked the way you look ~ YES.
Witnessed a crime ~ Have you ever been in my neighborhood?
Been obsessed with post-it notes ~ YES

Squished barefoot through the mud ~ YES

Been lost ~ I have never been lost, I am always exploring alternate routes.
Swam in the ocean ~ YES, Atlantic and Caribbean
Felt like dying ~ YES.
Played cops and robbers ~ Just in the bedroom.
Played cowboys and Indians ~ same as above.
Sung karaoke ~ NEVER, but I've watched that train wreck happen

Paid for a meal with only coins ~ Not Recently.
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't ~ YES
Made prank phone calls ~ 15 today, and counting.
Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose ~ Things have gone in my nose, not out of it.

Caught a snowflake on your tongue ~ YES

Danced in the rain ~ Again, at outdoor rock shows.!
Written a letter to Santa Claus ~ YES, but that fat fucker never got me what I wanted

Been kissed under the mistletoe ~ YES
Watched the sunrise with someone you care about ~ YES
Blown bubbles ~ Michael Jackson’s Monkey? No, can’t say that I have.
Made a bonfire on the beach ~ YES

Crashed a party ~ YES

Had a wish come true ~ Still haven’t won the lottery!
Jumped off a bridge ~ YES.
Told a complete stranger you loved them ~ Ever taken Ecstasy?
Kissed a mirror ~ I thought that said minor.
Sang in the shower ~ Too busy playing with myself.
Had a dream that you married someone ~ you mean nightmare?
Glued your hand to something ~ YES
Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole - or anything frozen ~ YES

Sat on a rooftop ~ YES
Done a one-handed cartwheel ~ No, I fall plenty on my own thank you.
Talked on the phone for more than 5 hours ~ Lord no, I don’t like being on the phone for more than 5 minutes...
Stayed up all night ~ YES
Picked and ate an apple right off the tree ~ YES
Climbed a tree ~ YES
Had a tree house ~ YES
Scared to watch scary movies alone ~ NEVER

Believe in ghosts ~ YES

Have more then 30 pairs of shoes ~ NEVER.

Worn a really ugly outfit to work ~ ALL THE TIME

Gone doorbell ditching ~ YES
Played gay chicken ~ with a lesbian once.
Pushed/fell into a pool/hot tub w/ all your clothes on ~ YES

Told you're hot by a complete stranger ~ Not Often enough IMO

Broken a bone ~ Chipped my collar-bone (you can still feel the indent) and my rib.
Been easily amused ~ Have you met me?
Caught a fish then ate it ~ YES
Caught a butterfly and/or firefly ~ YES I was 8 once.

Laughed so hard you cried and probably peed ~ YES
Cried so hard you laughed ~ That doesn’t even make sense
Cheated on a test ~ YES
Forgotten someone's name ~ YES
French braided someone's hair ~ French Kissed – YES, braided.. no

Cut your own hair ~ YES

Gone skinny-dippin in a pool/hot tub/lake/ocean ~ YES!
Been threatened to be kicked out of your house ~ More times than I have fingers.
Been kicked out your house ~ only once.
Loved someone so much you would gladly die for them ~ YES.

Ridden on top of a moving car ~ YES
Snuck up on a sleeping wild animal and scared it ~ What do you think I am.. an Apache Indian
Woke up with a hangover but still started that morning where you left off the night before. ~ All of the time.
Worn same underwear for more than a day ~ SURE

Gone streaking ~ NEVER
Gone into the opposite sex's restroom ~ YES

Been arrested ~ NEVER
Made love somewhere outside ~ Well, we had sex.
Fell asleep in the sun and got a second-degree burn ~ NEVER, but I know someone that did.

Crazy Lumberjack Man Stalker

Everyone goes through life making friends, and then losing touch with them for whatever reason. I have had several relationships like this through out my life. I have lost 'best friends' when my family moved to a different town at the age of 8, and again at 13. When you are that age and move, it is hard to make friends with the in crowd right away so you end up making friends with the weird-o types. The thing is, I never really fit in with the trendy, cool kid crowd and was pretty much always a weird-o fringe crowd type. We listened to weird music, rode skateboards, wore shirts with crazy graphic's, stole beer from our parents, and experimented with countless illegal substances. We were also a tight nit group.

Then one by one, most of us went away to college, got jobs, moved to different parts of the country chasing our dreams, got married, and had kids. Not everyone though, there were the few who never left the sanctuary of their childhood neighborhood, or their adolescent habits. Those that decided not to chase life, but that eternal buzz instead and are still right where they were when the rest of us left. Living in the small town, sometimes right down the street from their parents house if not still in it. They work menial, brainless jobs.. if they work at all. There is no drive in them to grow up, and become responsible adults that explore this marvelous world which we live on. Which is just fine for them, they seem happy I guess.

One of these people is the Lumberjack. He isn't a Lumberjack as much as he is a white trash hillbilly. We were real good friends for a long period of time. We partied together for years after our core group of friends started to split. I took him on road trips, introduced him to my 'new' friends, and generally tried to get him to see that with small changes in his life style, could live a life similar to mine. Basically, he chose the devil's candy instead. One of the last times I saw him, I told him he needed to quit playing with the devil, and get his life straightened out. I was probably a bit harsh to him, but I thought he needed that. I thought he would listen to me, and see for himself that yes, he did need to change a little. Instead, he became defensive, ornery, and basically told me to "Fuck off". I didn't talk to him for about 2 years, until my 30th birthday earlier this year. He was brought to my party. We talked. After we talked, we left the past behind and decided to try to rekindle our friendship. A week later my roommate called me while I was out visiting my parents and said he found the Lumberjack sitting on our front steps. Apparently he had sat there since about 9:30 in the morning that day and was still sitting there when I finally made it back into the city around 9PM. He stayed that night, and the whole next day. I finally got him to leave by telling him I had a date ( I didn't), and he would have to go now. Even then he tried to get me to play one more round of Xbox Tiger Woods, or have dinner with him, or catch a movie. When he got into his vehicle, I explained that showing up on my doorstep like that was unacceptable, and that we weren't young fools anymore. Some of us have girlfriends, and roommates, and a whole different lifestyle than just a year or two ago.

Since that day, I have not answered any of his calls. I got a message from him today asking me if I was in jail or dead. To tell you the truth, I am really surprised he isn't the one that is dead or in jail.